Okay. First off: I ain't got time for that. Second off: There are no plastic surgeons near where I live, thank God. However, I tried to get to the heart of this challenge and saw that I just needed to see that I was in no way, shape, or form perfect.
You know, when you're a kid and you just kinda sit in the bathroom and wish that you had curly hair or straighter teeth or whatever it is that you don't have? I used to do the same damn thing. But after a while, as I started to get older, I stopped looking in the mirror, even though my teeth now had metal wires across them, my forehead was covered with zits, and my eyes were perpetually dark, no matter what I wished. I think, after a while, I started seeing myself as a whole: my mischievous smirk, my wide eyes that tried to capture each moment, and all that strangeness and uniqueness inside. Cheesy, I know, but I stopped seeing myself as a list of positives and negatives, and more like a person. I started seeing the beauty in myself, and because of that, I exuded confidence.
I still wish that my face was just a little narrower, my eyes just a little more wide set, I, a little less volatile, and my stomach flatter. But I stopped wishing for this unattainable perfection, and now I couldn't be more comfortable and confident with myself.
I've been very involved with public speaking, academic projects, and such, so when a girl I admired for so long because of her effortless charm and confidence told me that she admired my own easy confidence, I just about keeled over. It means a lot to me when people say that I'm beautiful or compliment me, and I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I've come to be accepting and loving of myself.
I guess what I'm trying to say is not to focus on your negative attributes all the time, whether they be physical or internal. If you think you see your own beauty others will too.
Also, you can expect yesterday's blog post some time soon.
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